“I find myself wondering whether this is all worth it, if what we’re doing is enough. The way the Medical School gives us these outrageous exams alongside the lacklustre guidance; I don’t think I understand it. I don’t think I ever will.”

A pause; a breather.

“Has this ever compromised your abilities as a junior doctor?” I asked.

“No,” he replied, rather matter-of-factly; that short punctuated word dispersing through the air so many nights ago. That one word sufficiently silenced that conversation, as if it had placed its arrogant foot down; as if all notions, thoughts, ideas and desires could be restrained with a singular yes or no. With certainty.

It takes much strength to imagine what lies on the other side of my Finals. I hardly believe it was just days ago.

I was in the cafeteria of a local major hospital early this morning, listening to a group of students exploring the logistics of a Carpal Tunnel Syndrome exam station - all Singlish laced; mee goreng on their plates. The humidity was burying us in its watery grave; yellow skins against cheery lemon chairs. A mug of hot teh tarik in my hands.

Even this could make me think of you.

It’s a huge photo, but this is one of those moments when size really matters. Any smaller, and I think that bright smile would just form microscopic lead points that barely tickle your heart.

It is quite the ultimate catharsis when, right after screaming at the top of my lungs, I look at this and break into pealfuls of uncontrollable laughter. Because there must be light at the end of this emotional tunnel; be it passing my exams, the coming of 6th year (party time, baby!)..more importantly, being the last person in the extended family to finally have a chance to see my nieces. I’m looking forward to the end; I can’t wait for the gathering/BBQ planned for me on the day I return.

That’s Aliyyah, by the way. And I know I must be fair, but I like to pace myself too, so a picture of Maryam shall wait.

And Aly, this smile is dedicated to you. Pssst, look at the archives: it’s a little retro - borderline stale actually - but my unbridled immaturity presents quite embarrassingly in unedited emo rants. Entertainment indeed!

Photograph: Jenna Tu

This photo cracks me up. I’m not sure why; maybe it’s the memorable inside jokes, or the overabundant cheesiness that may conspire with me to punch our faces in. Whatever it is, this nauseatingly ‘kawaii’ shot spells good times…and in this most stressful of moments, any fun memory will do.

Oh, and I dedicate this stereotypical Asian photo to my good friend Ted, who frequently pesters me to recharge my camera batteries. I did promise to indulge in photographic egomania someday, old pal! :p